Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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