Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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