he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
found the other keg... it's in the tree
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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