definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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