I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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