i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I see more hoeing in ur future
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