Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
In America we eat man semen.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
