she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
