Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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