ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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