Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
