I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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