Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
