Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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