I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
