the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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