so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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