He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
