before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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