My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Please don't give away my fajitas
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
