im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
