Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I will pee on everything he values.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize