There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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