if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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