You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize