Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
