my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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