I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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