Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
