there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
