Can i not drive my cunt home
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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