He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
