man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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