Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
