Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize