You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
