no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
