Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
