So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize