i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
