I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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