Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
