what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
