fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
