I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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