what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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