is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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