Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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