Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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