We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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