now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
