Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
