I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm too high and old for this...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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