distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
