forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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