Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
