no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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