that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
