I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
