He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Screwed.edu
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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